why families grow apart

5 reasons why family members distance themselves

The bond that unites your true family is not of blood, but of respect and mutual joy.” Richard Bach

A functional family is a group of people united by blood ties or affinity, who are related from love, mutual support, respect and consideration. However, this is not always the case, there are families with relatives who distance themselves physically, emotionally and emotionally. They argue for reasons that often become insurmountable precipices. why families grow apart

The distancing, between relatives, can cause suffering for the member who is excluded or who decides to exclude himself from his family.

What are the reasons?

Sometimes unfortunate events occur. Intrigues, fights for misunderstandings, for money or abuses, also for power struggles or manipulation. All these situations, which vary in intensity or severity, if not well managed, generate anger and resentment, sadness and disenchantment. Love, affection and respect between relatives are inevitably undermined.

Sometimes these distancings last only days or months, but there are cases that last for years or for life.

What can be so serious that a relative is excluded in a family? Why does a person decide to distance himself from his family? When does cutting off all treatment and communication with family members becomes a way to protect your emotional integrity? why families grow apart.

The 5 most common reasons why relationships between family members are “breaked”.

1. Toxic family nucleus

Probably with a castrating or manipulative parent, who in pathological use of power and love, suffocates and subdues children and partner. When children become adult and dare to confront him, exclusion occurs. The dominant or manipulative parent does not accept dissent because he thinks that his opinions are above his children.

2. Modeling

Cutting communication and treatment when there are discussions between relatives can be a common practice in some families. Parents who stop talking to each other when they are upset, become models of their children for the practice of these behaviors. Thus, they generate a vicious circle of family dysfunction.

3. Poor communication and abuse of trust

The discussion is evaded by the false belief that confronting is generating conflicts. The submissive relative accumulates frustrations that often lead him to isolate himself, until abruptly cutting relationships, without having dared to manifest his dissatisfaction, emerges as the inevitable option.

4. Physical and emotional abuse

Unfortunately, there are families in which some members suffer from physical and emotional abuse by their relatives. They drag that suffering for years, until they decide, to protect themselves, to cut off relationships with the relatives who have abused them.

5. Care of a sick family member or the elderly in the family.

In this type of adversity, selfish and ruinous attitudes can emerge in people, which trigger conflicts and disenchantments and can end in inevitable ruptures. why families grow apart

There are relatives who dissentient, who do not assume responsibilities, who do not collaborate in these moments of family unhappiness or necessity.

Some tips for managing family conflicts:

  • The family is a group that is given to us, we don’t choose it. It would be healthy to learn how to deal with your differences, to accept that we can’t change it.
  • With the family you have to practice assertiveness. Saying no, defending rights and setting limits without feeling guilty, can be an option to “cut off relationships with the family.”
  • In moments of exacerbated emotionality it is preferable to remain silent and then look for the best time to talk.
  • Forgiveness will always be a gift that we are able to give to a family member.

Finally, we give you this phrase from Benjamin Franklin, which I hope will help you reflect on the conflicts and pain of distancing between relatives:

Peace and harmony constitute the greatest wealth of the family”

We will be happy to hear your thoughts

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